Tuesday, April 23, 2019

stiletto-pro-bowl2

Apparently I am the only person in the world that actually liked the Pro Bowl!  I saw it as another opportunity to see Kurt and Larry! Not that I actually sat there and watched the whole game myself.

There are all sorts of polls out about how to make the Pro Bowl more exciting. My fave was something about moving it to the beach, having it be all women and have them playing volleyball (Daily Ball Breakers—go there daily. Hysterical!) Not sure that would get me to sit down and watch the game either but it was amusing nonetheless.

So what would get me to watch the whole game? Hmm. Maybe if I made up my own Pro Bowl roster? Hmmmmm…….

And coincidence of coincidences… I was already planning to do another series (you know how I love seriesesseries‘ a good series). Something in honor of Valentine’s Day… maybe something about the Sexiest Athletes and Coaches….

I’m going to put a disclaimer on this: This is meant for fun. I don’t need any crap about how this is setting women back years and degrading us by insinuating that we only watch sports for hot guys. Shove it. I have learned more about football than half of my guys friends even know. And this, is my treat for all my hard work! And hey, I didn’t force these athletes to pose all sexy. I just complied their pics in a nice, easy to view format!

Plus, you will notice, it’s not just all about their looks so HA!

First, my picks for the AFC team.

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The AFC:

Offense

*I do realize there are no offensive tackles and guards but I didn’t see any I wanted on my team! I am open to suggestions and nominations!

Quarterbacks & Wide Receiver Combos:

Combo #1:

QB Tom Brady, NE Patriots

He just exudes hotness. I have yet to find a Hottie list without him on it.

brady1

  • 6’4, 225 pounds. Age: 31 DOB: 8/3/1977
  • Tom has won: NFL MVP, 2 Super Bowl MVPs, 3 out of 4 Super Bowls
  • He has been named  SI Sportsman of the Year, AP Sportsman of the Year (only second football player to do so)
  • He has been nominated to 4 Pro Bowls
  • He has the 4th highest passer rating of all time (I still don’t understand that whole thing but it sounsd good)
  • Unfortunately, knee surgery has totally jacked him up. Missed all of 2008. But since this is my fantasy Bowl, I get to pretend that didn’t happen. (Yes, I also pretend I am Gisele. Your point is?)

WR: Wes Welker, NY Patriots

Why? Because if you can’t get with Tommy, you might as well try for his best bud on the field! This one-two combo should be considered a lethal weapon against women everywhere—not to mention their incredible talent on the field. They were fantastic together last year!

wes-welker-fuzzyPATRIOTS WELKER

Oh, and guess what? You know that little Snow Angels in the Endzone thing that I mention all the time? This little guy is the one that made them!

  • 5’9, 185 pounds (he is so little!) Age: 27 DOB 5/1/1981


______________________________________________________

Combo #2:

QB Brady Quinn, Cleveland Browns

Known as “the fittest QB in the NFL.” Not sure how the tested and proved that but next year I really want to be in that locker room when they do!

Browns Quinn on Hold Footballbrady-quinn

Okay, not going to lie, there aren’t a whole lot of NFL stats on this one! He only began starting for the Browns this season when the head QB hurt his pinky. But that doesn’t mean he doens’t deserve to be here!

  • 6’3, 235 pounds. Age: 24 DOB: 10/27/84
  • At Notre Dame be broke all kinds of records AND he won the Maxwell Award for best college football player in 2006
  • He only started three games in 2008 and he already had 2 touchdowns! Well okay he had 2 interceptions to but, whatever.
  • He is also second cousin to Zachary Ty Bryan– one of the Home Improvement kids!

WR Santonio Holmes, Pittsburgh Steelers

Still annoyed that the Steelers won the Super Bowl, however this litte man’s endzone catch with seconds left in the game was SICK!  Even if he wasn’t a cutie-patootey I’d have him on the team.

santonio-mvp1santonio3

  • 5’11, 192 pounds. Age: 24 DOB: 3/24/84
  • 2008 Regular season: 55 receptions, 821 yards (14.9 average yards per catch) and 5 TDs
  • 2008 Post Season: 13 receptions for 226 yards (17.4 per catch) and 2 very, very clutch TDs

Running Back

Chris Johnson, Tennessee Titans

His cheekbones are just ridiculous. I just want to stick my finger in those dimples. He needs to be on billboards.

chris-johnson

  • 5’11, 200 pounds. Age: 23 DOB: 9/23/1985
  • For 2008 regular season he had 251 carries for 1228 yards and  9 TDs!
  • He also added another TD in the postseason before the Titans were eliminated

Tight End:

Tony Gonzalez, Kansas City Chiefs

Just discovered him during the Pro Bowl actually. Heard his articulate interview and looked up to catch a glimpse of his yuminess!

tony-gonzalez-pro-bowl

I’m sorry but don’t you just want to say he’s GRRRRRRRRReeeeeaaaaaaaaaaat! Maybe that’s because I am still annoyed over being deprived of Tony the Tiger during the Frosted Flakers Super Bowl commerical.

  • 6’5, 251 pounds Age: 32 DOB: 2/27/76 (happy almost b’day!)
  • In 2008 he had 96 receptions for  1058 yards (avg 11 yards per catch) 10 TDs
  • From Wikipedia Stats: “Gonzalez, a ten-time Pro Bowl selection, currently holds the NFL records for single season receptions (102) by a tight end, career touchdowns by a tight end (73), career receptions by a tight end (904), and reception yards by a tight end (10,823).”

The Defense:

Defensive End

Ryan Denney, Buffalo Bills

Look at those baby blues! He just looks so, I don’t know….boy next door or something!

ryan-denney

  • 6’7, 264 pounds, Age: 31 DOB: 6/15/1977
  • In 2008 he had 58 tackles, 4 sacks and 1 forced fumble.

Jason Taylor, Washington Redskins

(Yes, I realize he is the NFC. I don’t care. This is MY Pro Bowl and he is so hot that he gets to be on both)

jason-taylor

I am drooling too much to discuss him at this moment. I will go more in depth when I reveal my picks for the NFC.

Linebackers:

Mike Vrabel, NE Patriots

mike-vrabel-troy-brown-campvrabel-and-baby

  • 6’4, 261, Age: 33 DOB: 8/14/1975
  • For 2008: 62 tackles, 4 sacks, 1 forced fumble

James Harrison, Pittsburgh Steelers

who-is-this

  • 6’0, 242, Age: 30 DOB: 5/4/1978
  • 2008 Regular Season: 101 tackles, 16 sacks,  7 forced fumbles, 1 interception
  • 2008 Post Season: 1 really key interception and 1 record breaking 100 yard TD

Corner Backs

Nnamdi Asomugha (Nahm-Dee Aso-MU-Wah), Oakland Raiders

I may not be able to say his name but I can just call him Sexy. He defines the term “bedroom eyes.” My mom always used to say (much to my embarassment—and anyone else in earshot for that matter) that she wanted to nibble on Denzel Washington’s bottom lip….well now I finally understand the overwhelming desire! Nibble nibble nibble……

nnamandinnamdi-asomugha

  • 6’2, 227 pounds, Age: 27 DOB: 7/6/1981
  • In 2008 he had 40 tackles, 1 forced fumble and 1 interception, and 9 pass deflections.
  • In his first year, he had 8 interceptions and scared the bejeezes out of the NFL. No one tries to put one past him.
  • He has been named Raiders MVP twice and been selected to the NFL Pro Bowl

Cortland Finnegan, Tennessee Titans

cortland-finnegan

  • 5’3, 185, Age: 25, DOB: 2/2/1984–happy belated b’day!
  • 70 tackles, 1 sack and 5 interceptions

Backup: Quentin Jammer, San Diego Chargers

Mostly because I just love his name!

quentin

  • 6’0, 204 pounds, Age: 29 DOB: 6/19/1979
  • 2008 stats: 88 tackles, 3 forced fumbles, 2 interceptions

Safety

Troy Polamalu, Pittsburgh Steelers

Aw, how could I not put Troy—or at least his hair— on my list! I’ve grown to really love this guy, hair an all.

polamalu_836961

  • 5’10, 207 pounds Age: 27, DOB: 4/19/1981
  • His hair: 1 foot wide, 10 pounds extra….
  • 2008 Regular season: 73 tackles and 7 interceptions! This guy is deadly when it comes to picking the passes

Will Demps, Houston Texans

WARNING: The following pictures are not suitable for those with heart conditions or those prone to excessive saliva. Your heart will race and you will drool. You have been warned.

OH. MY. Freaking. God.

That was my reaction after Googling Will’s name. Let’s just say I have officially become and NFL, AFC and Houston Texan fan all in the same moment. WOW.

will-demps-yum

Drool. lots and lots of drool.

Drool. lots and lots of drool.

Does anyone care abouts his stats?

  • 6’0, 214 pounds of chisled rock hard muscles… Age: 29, DOB: 11/7/1979

Wait, what was I looking up again?  Huh. Yeah, I’m not sure he’s really any good. Not much about him out there. But I really don’t care.

Backup: Kerry Rhodes, NY Jets

I don’t even know how I can expect anyone to still be scrolling down and even looking at the rest of the list. Hard to follow something like that. However, I do have a backup just in case! And I think he is very, very worthy!

74091961CM005_Kerrykerry-rhodes

  • 6’3, 220 pounds Age: 26. DOB: 8/2/1982
  • 84 tackles, 1 sack, 2 interceptions

And the kicker is….

Adam Vinatieri, Indianapolis Colts

I don’t know about you but I’m thinking that Roughing the Kicker penalty would sooooo be worth it in this case!

adam-vinatieri1

  • 6’0, 202 Age: 36 DOB: 12/28/1972
  • In 2008, he maded 20 out of 25 field goal attempts.
  • His longest was 52 yards.
  • In the 2004 season he made 31 out of 33!
  • His longest ever was 57 yards (that’s really good!)
  • Overall he has made 331 out of 403 attempts
  • He is nicknamed Automatic Adam because he of his accuracy. Suure
  • He lives in Disney World during the off-season. No really! He lives in Celebration, Fl–that’s Disney!

And that concludes my AFC Pro-Bowl Team. Stay Tuned as my Pro Bowl Name Drop continues tonight with the NFC.

My Name Drop (DWTS had one, so can I) will be going on all week as I drop names of hotties in my fave sports and their coaches so I can pick my fave for V-day!

*photos from NFL, ESPN and hours of googling. Rose logo in the Stiletto Logo is from the NCAA Rose Bowl, dyed pink to match my sparkly football award!

About the author: Jennifer Taglione is the owner of this fabulous website Stiletto Sports. Despite writing well over 500 posts, she still maintains that she is not a sports writer! She is however a huge fan of Kurt Warner, Larry Fitzgerald, Mark Sanchez, the Celtics, and totally kicks butt on March Madness brackets! Connect with her by following her on Twitter @StilettoSportsJ and subscribing to her weekly newsletter. For more info check out the About the Editor page!

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4 Responses

  1. Akirah Said,

    Definitely my favorite post ever. Especially the Will Demps part. Mmmmmmmm!

    Posted on February 9th, 2009 at 7:38 pm

  2. Stiletto Jen Said,

    🙂 I am afraid to write part II because I don’t think it can compare!!

    Posted on February 9th, 2009 at 8:57 pm

  3. Brian Said,

    It appears you like boys.

    Posted on February 10th, 2009 at 7:39 am

  4. Stiletto Jen Said,

    Well…I did put Edyta from DWTS on the page too! At least under the NFC 😉 And I admit I have a huge crush on Stacy Kiebler but really, who doesn’t?

    Posted on February 10th, 2009 at 11:30 am



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