If the Tampa Bay Rays get to be Cinderella, then I dub the Philadelphia Phillies…the Evil Queen. But I’m biased.
Ok, fine, they get to be a princess too. Let’s try, Snow White.
The thing about Snow White is she was poisoned with an apple and went to sleep for like 100 years. Well, the Phillies are kinda the same way.
Once Upon a Time…
“In [South] Philadelphia, born and raised….” Oh wait, wrong fairy tale. Princess Snow White, not Fresh Prince.
The Philadelphia Phillies began in 1883. Their longer name “the Philadelphias” was officially shortened in 1890. Their first shining season was in 1915 when they won their first pennant (division title). Then did not have another winning season for like 30 years.
But unlike Snow White who shook off her apple poison and went on with her life, the poison given to the Phillies seems to linger in their system. Or they keep eating the apples, who knows?
What we do know is that they were pretty much at the bottom of the division, and often the league, until 1976 with only a few shining moments in that 60 year span. And one of those “shining moments” that is still heavily talked about today is the “Phold of ’64,” which is actually a huge negative. It’s when they had this great season that totally fell apart making it one of the worst season collapses in sports history. That’s something you want to be known for!
Hi-ho, hi-ho, it’s off to work we go
There was a bust of energy from ’76-’79 and then they won their one and only World Series in 1980! They stayed good until ’83 and then, I guess ate another apple because they fell back asleep for 10 years.
When they woke up, Snow White became Cinderella and made quite a comeback. After a horrible season in ’92 when they finished at the bottom, they came out swinging (pun wasn’t intentional but I definitely giggled) in ’93 and became the National League Champs and headed to the World Series. (Sound familar? Yeah, see the Tampa Bay Cinderella story I just posted!) They didn’t win the series and then they didn’t have another winning series again until 2001! Seriously guys, if a creepy witch lady tries to give you an apple: stop accepting them!
The 2007 and 2008 seasons marked quite a turnaround for the Phillies. They won back-to-back National League Division East titles, and in ’08, they beat the Los Angeles Dodgers 4-1 in the NLCS to head to the World Series.
However, none of this changes the fact that they are the biggest losers in baseball. I’m not saying this because I’m for Tampa Bay, it is a True Fact. Even though they had a great season in 2007, they also lost their 10,000th game, something no other team has achieved, making them the Biggest Losers in Baseball. Sports Illustrated just put out an article entitled “Historically We Suck.” That can’t be good to have SI put you down while you are in the World Series!
Snow White On Living in Cinderella’s Shadow
I feel bad for the Phillies, I really do. See, in any other World Series, they would probably be the Cinderella team. They would be the underdogs, the ones we want to go to to the ball and get the crown. But unfortunately, there is a new princess in town and they are younger, hotter and seem a bit more magical. It’s like someone showed up at the ball you are hosting wearing the same dress as you. I don’t know about you, but I would be pissed if I was the Phillies. After 10,000 losses, it eally should be them in the spotlight. I have a feeling they are going to fight with a venegance to win this Series because instead of being Cinderella, it really is like they are the Evil Queen.
The Seven, or rather Nine, Dwarfs.
I have to be honest here and say I don’t recognize any of the players on the team. I’m usually pretty good with this kind of trivia but not on this team. I can’t give you any personal feelings on them. Sorry.
Ryan Howard: First Baseman. Lead the league in homeruns this season with 48 and 146 RBIs
Chase Utley: 3-time All-Star, Second Base. Second highest on team with HRs, 33 and RBIs, 104.
Shane Victorino: Center field. He’s from Hawaii! And the Phillies had a “Shane Victorino Day” in 2007 complete with hula girls and grass skirts, so they must like him!
Jimmy Rollins: 3-time All-Star, League MVP, Shortstop. Likes to steal. Known for his 38 game hitting streak a few years back.
The Cottage and Other Really Dope-y facts:
-The Phillies play at the Citizens Bank Park in South Philly, PA. They used to be at the Veterans Stadium
-Phillies Phans have a habit of changing the letter “f” in words to “ph” like Phan, Phanatic. It makes them cooler somehow.
-The mascot is the Phillie Phanatic. He defies all description as to what it could possibly be. He is a green furry creature and known as the best mascot in baseball. He has also been sued more times than any other mascot in baseball. His favorite movie is Rocky and favorite song is Motownphilly by Boyz to Men.
-at bat next: The Tampa Bay Rays: A Cinderella Story
or return to Suriving the World Series of Boredom