Friday, March 22, 2019

Part I of the SportsMen of Style Series

steelersbgqh2

Some people do in-depth team analysis with stats, figures, histories and long-winded speculations of how off that mumbo jumbo can determine who will win the big game. Others have more important things to do.

Kidding! This is my life now. But yeah, I don’t really believe in worshiping the stats, they only confuse things. Consider this my in-depth team analysis of the Pittsburgh Steelers! A nice, consise breakdown of the hottest guys Offense and Defense to help you survive the Super Bowl.

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Coach: Mike Tomlin

tomlin

  • Eight years experience. Been with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Minnesota Vikings
  • Was hired by Pittsburgh for the 2007 season
  • Looks like Omar Epps!
  • At 36 years old, he is the youngest coach to ever take his team to the Super Bowl!
  • And a whole bunch of other stuff that I really didn’t feel like reading: Football Speak about Mike

The offense:

offense

Lead by:

QB: Ben Roethlisberger:

It is still up for debate on whether this guy is hot or not. Sometimes he looks great. And other times he is a scary looking bastard!  Let’s just say if one was to make a Super Bowl Pick solely on QB looks….pants down, you would be picking the Cardinals. But luckily, there are a lot of other hot players important rules to consider while making picks!

poster

His Stats:

  • He’s a  6’5, 245 pounds 26 year-old from Ohio.
  • He’s been with the Steelers since 2004
  • Football stuff:  281 completions in 469 attempts (that’s like 60%) with 3301 yards and 17 touch downs.
  • He has a QB rating of 80.1.  I have no idea what this scale goes up to. Kurt Warner has a 99.7 but there are lots of players over 100…..

Wide Receiver: Hines Ward

hines ward

His Stats:

  • He’s 6’0, 205 pounds of muscle.
  • He is almost 33 and was born in South Korea
  • He has been in the NFL for 11 years–and been with the Steelers the whole time.
  • Football stuff: 82 receptions, 1047 yards (averages 12.8 yards every time he catches the ball)
  • Has 7 touchdowns on the season
  • And this photo is just so stinkin’ cute of him when they won the Super Bowl:

hines ward superbowl

Wide Receiver: Santonio Holmes

71465509MS006_Pittsburgh_St

No, he is not saying “call me” in the photo. Although I like to think he is too.

His Stats:

  • He’s the 5’11, 189 pound lil cutie receiver.
  • He’s almost 25 and originally from Florida–where he used to sell drugs on the street. Hmm. Maybe that wasn’t such a good fact.
  • Football stuff: 55 receptions, 821 yards, (average: 14.9 yards every time he catches the ball)
  • He has 5 touchdowns on the season.
  • He was just arrested for marijuana possession and had to miss a game against the NY Giants. Hope he at least got to hit Um, nevermind….

Running Back: Willie Parker aka Fast Willie

willie-parker

His Stats:

  • He’s a 5’10, 209 pound little speed demon!
  • He’s 28 and in his 5th season with the Steelers and is now their lead RB.
  • He broke his leg last year but is back –even better than before!
  • Football Stats: 210 carries, 791 yards, average 3.8 yards per carry,
  • He has 5 touchdowns on the season
  • He already set a Super Bowl record the last time the Steelers were there: he ran in a 75 yard touchdown!

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The Defense:

08_bal_lineup_96809

Safety: Troy Polamalu (aka the Poofy-Haired Guy)

Before you continue, you have to go to: Puhlahmahlu. I PROMISE it is worth it. Guaranteed to make you smile!

Look how adorable he is! It was hard to tell with all that hair covering up his face!

Look how adorable he is! It was hard to tell with all that hair covering up his face!

His Stats:

  • He’s 5’10, 207 pound ball of floofy hair (see photo below!)!
  • He’s 27 and originally from California but is of Samoan descent.
  • He is very quiet, religious and prefers spending time at home with the fam than partying with his co-workers. Maybe he should go play for the Cardinals and chill with Kurt Warner? I’d love to see the two of them talk religion!
  • He is in serious need of hair gel.
  • Football stats: 73 tackles, 6 interceptions.
Humidity + curly hair = poofball.

Humidity + curly hair = poofball.

Right Outside Linebacker: James Harrison

james-harrison

His Stats:

  • He’s a 6’0, 242 pound teddy bear powerhouse.
  • He’s 30 years old and originally from Ohio.
  • He is in his 5th year with the Steelers
  • Football stuff: 101 tackles, 16 sacks,  1 interception and 7 foofs.
  • Apparently FF does not mean foofs. It means how many times they forced a fumble.

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Well that’s it for stats because, well….to be honest, I’m bored of them! I’ll just show you a few more photos of VIPlayers to know.

Safety: Ryan Clark

Steelers Clarks Comeback Football

Right Inside Linebacker Larry Foote

larry-foote

Left Inside Linebacker James Farrior

farrior

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Special Teams:

Kicker: Jeff Reed

jeff-reeed

ok seriously, what is up the guys on this team and their hair?

ok seriously, what is up the guys on this team and their hair?

I will be doing the Cardinals next!

For more on the Super Bowl QB matchup, you can also check out my Man of Style Kurt Warner post and my Hottie or Nottie: Ben Roethlisberger post.

About the author: Jennifer Taglione is the owner of this fabulous website Stiletto Sports. Despite writing well over 500 posts, she still maintains that she is not a sports writer! She is however a huge fan of Kurt Warner, Larry Fitzgerald, Mark Sanchez, the Celtics, and totally kicks butt on March Madness brackets! Connect with her by following her on Twitter @StilettoSportsJ and subscribing to her weekly newsletter. For more info check out the About the Editor page!

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