Monday, April 22, 2019

The Pittsburgh Steelers beat the Baltimore Ravens 23-14 to win the AFC Championship and head to the Super Bowl!

Do I have to write this Steelers win article? I so should have asked Akirah from QLL to do it! She’s a big Pittsburgh fan. I have conflicting feelings on the outcome of this game.  I originally picked the Ravens to win the AFC. But don’t worry, I totally changed my mind in the third quarter and picked the Steelers!

The Stiletto Girl Recap

First half

The first half was pretty much a bird slaughter*. Pittsburgh scored two field goals in the first quarter and then came out with a TD right at the start of the second. The Steelers went up 13-0 and continued their shut down the Ravens defense and offense for most of the first half. Gosh that sounds like I actually know what I’m talking about doesn’t it? (*disclaimer: no birds were actually injured during the game)

Right before the two minute mark, the Ravens finally retailiated with a touchdown.

Then things got a little floofy. Right before the half  the Steelers were on fourth down and kicking so the Ravens would have one final attempt before the end of the quarter.

Then there was a very questionable “roughing the kicker call**” against the Ravens that cost them that last possession of the the half. Because of that call, the Ravens had a penalty and the Steelers kept the ball.  It’s crap. The kicker dude totally just slipped on the snow, fell and kicked the one that supposedly roughed him up. (**I will discuss my thoughts on this Rule in my fascinating facts section ). I’m not saying the Ravens would have won the game if this hadn’t happened, but you never know!

Third Quarter

You know, nothing really exciting happened in the third that I can remember. Pittsburgh scored a field goal. Oh and the “encroachment call” which we will get to in the fascinating facts.

Fourth Quarter:

This is when I decided to change my pick to the Steelers (yup, you can totally do that! Boys don’t necessarily agree but whatever. Boys are stupid. Throw rocks at them). They apparently have hot guys, according to Akirah and according to The Rules, it is clearly stated that “you can totally change your pick mid-game if you discover hotties on the other team that you did not know about.”

With about 9:00 remaining in the game, the Ravens scored a touchdown! Yay! Oh. Right. Changed my pick. Boo, Ravens.

There was some foul on the prior play—no idea what it was, something like defensive pass intereference, or what that even means— but it moved the Ravens 20 yards down the field. This is like in Friends when Chandler makes up the game Cups to give Joey money. Ooh! Or or when they play Bamboozled! All sorts of weird, made-up, crazy rules and prizes!

Refocusing…In any case, the Raven pulled within two!

Then….well, there was a whole bunch of craziness!

In the first play, Ravens QB hottie Joe Flacco was sacked. In the next, his pass was picked off by some guy with the biggest poofball of curly hair I have ever seen! And I can say that because my hair totally gets like that without hair gel. Troy Polamalu, you so need to check Aussie Sprunch Pray and Garnier Fruitis Surf Hair. They do wonders for curls. Akirah says you are hot but it’s hard to see under the poof.

Anyway the curly-haired guy grabbed the ball out of mid-air and ran it back 40 yards for another Steelers TD with four minutes remaining in the game! Steelers 23, Ravens 14.

There was a big fumble and injury but I don’t want to talk about it. It looked soooooo painful. Skipping ahead. Ravens have one last attempt to score. With a minute remaining, Flacco threw the ball and the Steelers intercepted again to seal their victory!.

The Facts:

  • Troy Polamalu is actually hot. He just needs some gel.
  • Ben Roethlisberger is not as creepy looking as he looks in his pic on, where he looks like a deranged, red-necking serial killer. I know he plays football and wants to be all intimidating to his opponents but, he really should change that pic. It’s frightening.

  • The Ravens are 0-3 to the Steelers this season. That’s gotta suck.
  • Joe Flacco didn’t do so good. He kinda looked like a college player that got dumped in an NFL playoff game with a ball and was told “here, go.” Hmm. Maybe that’s why rookie QBs don’t get to the Super Bowl. It’s okay. He’s still adorable and this was his first year! Wait till he’s been around as long as Kurt Warner!

About the author: Jennifer Taglione is the owner of this fabulous website Stiletto Sports. Despite writing well over 500 posts, she still maintains that she is not a sports writer! She is however a huge fan of Kurt Warner, Larry Fitzgerald, Mark Sanchez, the Celtics, and totally kicks butt on March Madness brackets! Connect with her by following her on Twitter @StilettoSportsJ and subscribing to her weekly newsletter. For more info check out the About the Editor page!

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5 Responses

  1. Akirah Said,

    Hahahahah! Yes, Troy does have some crazy hair. But he’s an AMAZING athlete. And he’s gentle too. Seems like a great guy. Hopefully Hines will be better by the Super Bowl and you’ll be able to see his amazing-ness too.

    Posted on January 19th, 2009 at 7:26 pm

  2. Lace Said,

    I so hate you now… 🙁

    Posted on January 21st, 2009 at 1:34 pm

  3. Stiletto Jen Said,

    why????? what did I do? I had nothing to do with it! I didn’t even pick them! Well, you know, at first!

    Posted on January 21st, 2009 at 2:02 pm

  4. Maxie Said,

    YAY go steelers!!!

    Posted on January 24th, 2009 at 6:52 pm

  5. Stiletto Jen Said,

    No no! You are misinterpreting! Go CARDINALS!!!

    Posted on January 26th, 2009 at 4:24 pm

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