I hope you will forgive me for veering way off course today. But this week is…really hard for me.

Yesterday, I wrote a piece about Sandra Kay Yow and her inspiring life and battle with cancer. Moments after I finished, I found out a friend of mine has to move home from Germany (she just moved there about 2 months ago), because she found out her father is dying of lung cancer. She was coming to me for help and advice. My own mother passed away only a few months ago and I too, had to move home to New York temporarily. She wanted to know how do you deal? What do you?

Also, a year ago yesterday I left my old job and my family of co-workers, which believe me, was devastating to me. By the end of the day, I was drained mentally and emotionally. I needed to write it out of me. I promise there is a girl’s guide to football coming soon, but I needed and emotional release or risk my sanity. But hey, you get to learn about me!

I ask all of you, how would you measure a year in your life?

“five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
five hundred twenty five thousand moments so dear
five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
how do you measure, measure a year
in daylights,
in sunsets,
in midnights,
in cups of coffee,
in inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife
in five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
how do you measure a year in a life?

how about love?

measure in love… seasons of love…

five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
five hundred twenty five thousand journeys to plan
five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
how do you measure the life of a woman or a man
in truths that she learned
or in times that she cried
in bridges she burned
or the way that she died

its time now to sing out though
the story never ends
let’s celebrate remember a year in a life
of friends

remember the love…”

~Rent “Seasons of Love”

There are 525,600 minutes in a year. I am missing at least  262, 800 minutes of 2008.  I lost my mother–my best friend–to cancer on Mother’s Day. The months leading up to and the months after have become a blur. I truly do not remember most of what happened in 2008. Even weirder, there seems to be a total suspension of time. I feel like I  am going to find out it really is January 2008, not 2009 because it doesn’t seem possible that a whole year has gone by. But apparently, it has.

So how do you measure a year in your life if you don’t really remember any of it?

In 525, 600 minutes?

It’s been 525, 600 minutes since I left one job for a promotion with a new company. But it feels like it was last week. And while that was not the most life changing moment of the year by any stretch of the imagination, it did start a new chapter in my life so I measure 2008 from this day, not from January 1st.

So I got a new job. Why is that so significant?  Why not pick the day we found out about my mother’s cancer? Or wait until April/May when my life really did get turned upside down? Everything has to have a starting point and for some reason this is mine. All I know is that when I realized today would mark the 525,600th minute since I left, I felt such a sharp pang, that it made me feel ill. It  just doesn’t seem possible that it has been a full year. I miss it even more today than I did a year ago.

Most people are thrilled to get a new job especially one that advances their career. And I was too…kinda. I mean the corporate part of the company I had been working for was hell and there was no opportunity for growth. But the people I worked with, and the place I worked….. God, I loved the people I worked with. We were so much more than co-workers. We really became a family. And the store where I worked was my home away from home. I spent more time there then in my own house. And I truly loved getting up every day and going there. Talk to anyone that was part of our group and you’ll see. What we had was truly special.

“in truths that she learned, or in times that she cried, in bridges she burned, or the way that she died?”

Even though it started with such promise, 2008 was not what you would call “a good year” for me. I thought of all the ways I could measure it, with so much of the year just….forgotten…it seemed like the only things I could measure were:  The sadness. The tears. The pain. The loneliness. The fear. The loss. Or I could tell you about the three sections that the year seems to be broken down into: Before going home to New York, being in New York and returning to Florida.

And I was going to. My original plan was to break this all down into those three sections and talk about all I lost this year: my mother–my best friend, my love, close friends, my family. (I know, it doesn’t sound uplifting at all but I swear it would have at least ended with hope.) I was going to measure my life by how much I have had to grow this year despite the horrible ache inside and the desire to be a toys ‘r us kid forever.

But then I listened to a song. Over and over until the meaning was really drilled in. And instead….

How about love?

Every day I am reminded of the the overwhelming losses of 2008, but today, today I’m going to see the overwhelming love I found and gave in 2008.

Measuring a year of my life in love

The  overwhelming love and support from so many friends and family when I needed it the most.

I reconnected with so many old friends including my best friends from elementary and high school.

I revived a friendship with my first love, whom my mother adored…simply because he adored me.

I celebrated with great pride and joy as my best friend –and quite a few other friends—graduated from medical school.

I finally started standing up for myself.

I failed and was okay with it.

I went to Las Vegas, lost every penny, and loved every minute of it.

I took the new generation to Cape Cod and carried on the tradition.

I went to Disney World and got to meet the Disney Princesses!

I’ve gotten hundreds of cuddles and kisses from my cat, some not even against her will.

I asked my mother every question I could think of…and more.

I gave my father and godmother the best gifts I could think of.

And in turn they gave me the best gifts: they believe in me. Even when others don’t.

I sat down with the great love of my life and told him everything. And while it didn’t magically make everything better, he knows I love him and that’s enough.

I laughed every day…because I believe “the most useless day is one in which we have not laughed”

I danced like no one was watching…at Brenda’s, and with my “new shoe dance” that my mother loved.

I sang like no one was listening…loudly….all the time (sorry neighbors)

I loved like I’ had never been hurt (does this count if you were loving the one that did the hurting?)

I lived. I laughed. I loved.

And always:

I dream. I hope. I imagine.

I believe.

I remember every single day that my mother loved me more than anything in the world…

And I now have her as a guardian angel watching over me every day and will always be proud of me, so long as what I am doing makes me happy.

And I am loved.

Goodbye 2008. Hello 2009. Hello me.

525,600: A Year in My Life is a post from: Stiletto Sports

My original idea for Man of Style came from an In Style magazine monthly feature piece. I happened upon one about Joshua Jackson (whom I ADORE. Seriously. I almost named my car Pacey, okay) and thought, hmm, this would make a great way to showcase super hottie athletes! Yum! It was supposed to be kinda fun and silly! But somewhere along the way, it’s turned a little more serious. Sure it is a showcase for some hotties but  I’ve really loved doing it and learned a lot about these great atheletes. Later this week I will feature Troy Polamalu and Larry Fitzgerald going head to head to compete for SportsMan of Style for the week but right now I want to focus on something a little more serious. A little closer to home. —————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

I know Phil Jackson. I know John Calipari. I know Coach K. I know Jimmy Valvano. Actually, I know the names of a lot of college and NBA coaches–past and present. But I am very sad to say I had never heard of Kay Yow until she passed away on Saturday,  January 24, 2009 and everyone was talking about her.

And sadly, unless you were a follower of women’s college basketball or live in North Carolina you probably had no idea who she was. Not to say she didn’t have a huge group of supporters and followers, but for more people, you may have heard her name but you would be hard pressed to know who she was or where she coached.

Kay Yow was the head coach of the North Carolina State’s women’s basketball team for over 34 years.

A few quick facts:

• She was a coach in total for over 38 years!
• She won over 700 games!

• She won four conference titles.
• She was the coach of the 1988 winning Olympic team
• She has been inducted into the  Women’s Basketball and the Naismith Halls of Fame.
• In 2007,  she accepted the Jimmy V ESPY Award for Perseverance to a huge standing ovation. She had also a personal friend of Jimmy Valvano.

Even more importantly, she had been battling against breast cancer–and winning– for over 20 years. She never let it hold her back from what she loved.  In 1988, the year after she was first diagnosed, she lead the U.S. women’s basketball team to the gold in the Olympics. When she was entered Stage 4 in 2007, she refused to give up coaching to rest. Instead she said, ““But I have Stage 4 cancer. There is nothing that assures me that next year I could do it any more than I could now.” And she continued on through the 2008-2009 season until the beginning of January.

Her amazing story gave others so much hope and the efforts of her Cancer Research Fund helped others to believe and dream again. She was truly an inspiration to all.

For my regular followers, you know of the Fabulous “Feel Good” Sports Moments Series that  just concluded. After reading about Kay, I discovered she was truly the embodiment of that series.  I’ve decided that it was only fitting today’s SportsWoman of Style tribute will be the final piece in that series: Courage.

“The courage of life is often a less dramatic spectacle than the courage of a final moment; but it is no less a magnificent mixture of triumph and tragedy.” ~John F. Kennedy

“With courage, you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate, the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity.” ~Keshavan Nair

“Yesterday I dared to struggle. Today, I dared to win.” ~Bernadette Devlin

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch,a smile, a kind word, a listening ear,

an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a live around.”

~Leo Buscaglia

“Everyone who had the privilege of knowing Kay Yow has a heavy heart today. Her record and the honors she has received over the years are evidence of her abilities as a coach, but the former student-athletes who come back year after year and bring their children to visit her are a testament to the type of person she was. She was a blessing to many people because of her strong faith. She faced every opponent, whether on the basketball court or in a hospital room, with dignity and grace. She will be greatly missed.” -North Carolina State athletic director Les Fowler N.C.

More about Kay Yow and Jim Valvano

“Don’t let the urgent get in the way of the important” ~Kay Yow

“The really great thing about her was she had the courage to fight the battle in public. As a result, she not only fought for her, she fought for everyone who has cancer or will have cancer and the families involved.” -Duke men’s basketball coach Mike Kryzewski

“Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.” ~Lucius Annaeus Seneca

This story would up being especially poignant for me. I lost my mother, Sandra, to pancreatic cancer only a few months ago. While reading Kay’s story, I discovered her first name is actually Sandra, as well.

As hard as it was to continue to read and to write this piece, a part of me felt compelled to do so. And when I finally finished—half a box of tissues later—I felt a bit of the weight that I’ve been carrying on my heart and shoulders lift away.

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For more information or to donate to the Kay Yow Cancer Research Fund, click either image below. They will take you to the official sites. For more on my Inspirational Sports Moments Series, begin with Hope.

SportsWoman of Style: Kay Yow is a post from: Stiletto Sports

“It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow.” ~Robert Heinlein

Part V of my Fabulous “Feel Good” Sports Moments Series.

Dream…

The idea for this series started, in part, because of my One Word Wednesday: Hope post in honor of President Barack Obama and thought I should do some inspirational sports photos to go along with it. As the idea began to grow, I kept coming back to my new found love for the Arizona Cardinals.

In case you didn’t know, I’m a huge fan of Cinderella teams (I mean really, you refer to a sports team as a Disney Princess and I am so all in on that!). I was so excited that the Tampa Bay Rays went to the World Series and I’m so happy that the Cardinals made it to the Super Bowl. These teams inspire us. They give fans hope. They make you believe. They make you imagine “what if.”

They keep you dreaming big.

“If you don’t dream big,what’s the use of dreaming?
If you don’t have faith there’s nothing worth believing.
It takes one look to make the stars worth reaching for.
So reach out for something more.”

~David Cook (Who saw that quote coming?!)

However, in the second half of the Pittsburgh Steelers/Baltimore Ravens AFC Game, I found love for the Steelers. Or at least the poofy-haired guy. So I admitted I couldn’t leave them out of my Dream sequence.

And with the big match-up only a week away, it seems only fitting that the final piece of this series, “dream,”  will be a tribute to the teams of Super Bowl XLIII! Enjoy!

“When we are dreaming alone it is only a dream. When we are dreaming with others, it is the beginning of reality.” ~Dom Helder Camara

“Like a bolt, out of the blue; Fate steps in and sees you through. When you wish upon a star, your dreams, come true” ~Jimminy Cricket

“If you can dream it, you can do it.” ~Walt Disney

“A man’s dreams are an index to his greatness.” ~Zadok Rabinowitz

“If your heart is in your dreams, no request is too extreme.” ~Jimminy Cricket

“The dream was always running ahead of me. To catch up, to live for a moment in unison with it, that was the miracle.” ~Anais Nin

“Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men.” ~Goethe

“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.” ~Anatole France

“Remember that you are so much more than what you achieve, you are what you dream.” ~Flavia

I have loved every minute of creating this inspirational series. I was inspired. I cried. I laughed. I gasped in awe. I remembered where I was during key Olympic moments and during MJ’s final shot. And I learned a lot about each moment in sports history.

And what it meant to…

Hope

Imagine

Inspire

Believe

Dream

Fabulous “Feel Good” Sports Moments Part V: Dream Big is a post from: Stiletto Sports

Part IV of my Fabulous Feel Good Sports Moments Series (yes, I keep changing the name of the series….sorry!)

BELIEVE:

The hardest part about this whole series has been trying to define each moment into only one category. Sure, it’s hard to imagine the world without Michael Jordan or Tiger Woods but can you deny that they are also two of the most Inspiring athletes of all time? Even trying to find quotes for each word was hard because most of the time, the words are linked together: “believe in the power of your dreams.”

Two categories that were especially tricky were hope and believe. Very fine line with a whole lotta overlap. Jim Braddock and Seasbiscuit were a huge source of hope during the great depression… because they gave people something to believe in when they had nothing.

I picked the moments for “believe” because of these two quotes:

“Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many.” – Buddha

“Man can believe the impossible, but can never believe the improbable“ ~Oscar Wilde

The moments in this category were so improbable, they were believed impossible. Yet, somehow–against all the odds, all the speculations and rumors–somehow, they happened. And they became some of the top miracle moments in sports history.

But even more than that, these moments keep us believing! Believing in the underdogs and Cinderellas. In last second shots and catches. In the unexpected. In miracles.

These moments keep us believing that one day, we will win.

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“Don’t give up. Don’t ever give up. Believe and act as if it were impossible to fail.” ~Jim Valvano + Charles F. Kettering

“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.” ~ North Carolina State’s head coach Jim Valvano

Video of the 1983 NCAA Championship when NC State beat the heavily favored Houston Cougars at the buzzer.

“Believe it can be done. When you believe something can be done, really believe, your mind will find the ways to do it.” – David Joseph Schwartz

“The only thing that stands between a man and what he wants from life is often merely the will to try it and the faith to believe that it is possible.“~David Viscott

“Men often become what they believe themselves to be. If I believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it. But when I believe I can, then I acquire the ability to do it even if I didn’t have it in the beginning.”
– Mahatma Gandhi

“Because if you believe in something, and believe in it long enough, it will come into being.” ~Rolling Thunder of the Cherokee Tribe

“If you keep on believing, the dream that you wish, will come true” ~Cinderella

“When you believe in a thing, believe in it all the way, implicitly and unquestionable.”

~Walt Disney

Up next tomorrow: Dream

Go back to Hope….. Imagine….. or Inspire….

‘

My Fabulous “Feel Good” Sports Moments Part IV: Believe is a post from: Stiletto Sports

Part III of my “Yes, You Can” Inspirational Sports Moments Series. These posts are also available as an amazing slideshow on The Bleacher Report. I think they may look even better over there!

If you look up “to inspire” in the dictionary you get answers like “to affect or touch; elicit or arouse; guide or motivate; bring about.”

But it is so much more than that! The feeling behind inspiration is so complex, multi-faceted and subjective, I don’t feel it can be summed up by half a line in a dictionary.

Instead, I think it requires quite a few lines and some pictures to really nail down what it means “to inspire.”

To me, there is nothing more inspiring and motivating then hearing the words, “never” or ‘”No. You can’t.” Maybe it’s the petulant child inside of me that always got her way when she was little and dislikes the word no. Because those words make me want to stand up, fight back and say, “Oh yes, I CAN.” ~Jennifer Taglione (me!)

“To do something, however small, to make others happier and better, is the highest ambition, the most elevating hope, which can inspire a human being” ~ John Lubbock

In the 1988 World Series, the Los Angeles Dodger’s were down 4-3 in the bottom of the ninth with 2 outs and one runner on base. The Dodger’s brought in Kirk Gibson to pinch hit. Gibson was not expected to appear in the game becaus he had injured both knees and could barely walk, plus he had a stomach virus. On the final pitch of the game with the at count was 3-2, Gibson hit the winning homerun. Unable to run, he hobbled around the bases.

The Dodger’s won the World Series and Gibson’s homerun became one of the greatest sports moments of all time.

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.” ~John Quincy Adams

How do you even begin to describe Lance Armstrong’s success? He is one of the most inspiring athletes of all time.

He has won seven consecutive Tour de Frances, more than any other person, and he won the battle against testicular cancer that had also spread through his body to his brain and lungs.

Oh, and those wins? They came after his battle with cancer.

“Our greatest glory consists not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” ~Oliver Goldsmith

In the 1996 Olympics, it seemed like nothing would stand in the way of the U.S. gymnastics team, nicknamed the Magnificent Seven. But during the final event, the vault, they were neck and neck with.

In her first vault attempt Kerry Strug landed awkwardly and severely damaged her ankle. She had :30 to decide if she could vault again and post a higher score to secure the gold medal for her team.

She rose up, vaulted again and landed beautifully with a salute to the judges.

She nailed a 9.7.

The U.S. Magnificent Seven won the gold.

Kerry Strug’s had to be carried to the medal ceremony.

“To succeed, you need to find something to hold on to. Something to motivate you. Something to inspire you.” ~Tony Dorsett

In the 1992 Olympics during the 400-meter race, Derek Redmond tore his hamstring. Rather than give up, he continued to try to make it around the track. With the help of his father, and a standing ovation from the crowd, he was able to make it around one lap.

Visa has made this moment a key part of their “courage series” and their Go World commercial says it all so I am just going to quote it. Pretend I sound like Morgan Freeman because his voice really makes the commercial that much more poignant.

“Derek Redmond didn’t finish in first place in the 1992 400 meter. He didn’t finish in second. Or third. Or fourth. He, and his father, finished dead last. But at least, he, and his father, finished.”

“It is the inspiration of the Olympic Games that drives people not only to compete but to improve, and to bring lasting spiritual and moral benefits to the athlete and inspiration to those lucky enough to witness the athletic dedication” ~Herb Grey

It’s now impossible to hear the word “Olympics” and not think of Michael Phelps and his remarkable accomplishments in 2008.

For me, it’s impossible to hear the words “Inspiring Athletes” and not think of him as well.

Up next tomorrow: Believe

Go back to: Hope

Go back to: Imagine

You can also view these as an amazing slideshow on The Bleacher Report

“Yes. We Can” Part III: Inspiring the World is a post from: Stiletto Sports

Part II of my series of inspirational sports moments. You can see this post as an amazing slide show on The Bleacher Report. I think it came out even better over there!

Imagine.

“What is now proved was once imagined.” ~William Blake

Today, I ask that you look at things that are proved-that are our truths and realities today-and ask how they were imagined.

Imagine if…there was no more slavery.

Imagine if….women had the right to vote.

Imagine if….we were no longer “separate but equal,” but just “equal” and our schools and cities were no longer segregated.

Imagine if…there was an African American president of the United States.

It used to be unimaginable that such things would ever happen! Impossible! Never! We were told “No, you can’t.”

But someone did imagine the unimaginable. Someone believed all these things were possible. Someone said “Yes, you can!”

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“To imagine the unimaginable is the highest use of the imagination.” ~Cynthia Oznick

Imagine if…there was a black man who wanted to play major league baseball.

Imagine if…a coach wanted to win a championship by using five black players as his starting line-up.

Imagine if…there was a woman who wanted to be on the cover of Sports Illustrated. And not the swimsuit issue.

Imagine if…there was a one-armed man, who wanted to be a pitcher for the New York Yankees

Imagine if…. there was a man who thought he could fly without wings

Imagine if…a black man wanted to play in the PGA and wear a Master’s jacket

Imagine if…they didn’t imagine the unimaginable.

Imagine they were told “no, you can’t.” And they believed it.

Hard to do isn’t it? It’s almost unimaginable to now imagine our lives without these icons and their impact.

“It’s kinda fun to do the impossible.” ~Walt Disney

“There is no life I know, to compare with Pure Imagination. Living there, you’ll be free, if you truly wish to be. If you want to view paradise; simply look around and view it! Anything you want to; do it!  Want to change the world? There’s nothing to it!” ~Willy Wonka

Imagine the possibilities.

Up next, Inspire

Go back to Hope.

“Yes. We Can, II:” Imagining the Unimaginable is a post from: Stiletto Sports

Because I was so inspired by my One Word Wednesday: Hope post this morning that honored President Obama, I decided to do a sports version with my 20 favorite sports photos that symbolize the word Hope. Like everything else I try to take on, this took on a life of its own and grew far bigger than I wanted it to be.

Over the next five days I will be bringing you my newest “countdown.” It’s similar to my Top Sports Moments / Top Commercials of 2008 series’ that I did a few weeks ago except this time I’m not going to rank them. I don’t feel like these moments can be judged or ranked because they are all so iconic. So symbolic. So powerful, inspirational and meaningful that they can not be put in an order. Instead, the photos have been placed in a one word category:

Hope. Believe. Inspire. Imagine. Dream.

Each day I will post a new category with pictures or moments I believe truly define those words. Feel free to email me if you have a photo you think needs to be in one of those lists!

HOPE

This is a tricky one. How do you define Hope? How do you put a finger on how it feels? Yesterday marked a day of Hope for Americans, and for the world. Hope that a change is coming. Hope that anything can happen. Hope that if we work hard, one day our dreams will come true.

I picked today’s moments because they too, had the same effect. They gave hope to millions of people all over the world in times when they needed it the most.

James Braddock, aka The Cinderella Man, and his fight against Max Baer.

I just recently watched Cinderella Man and the impact that this man, this fight, had on America was profound. The fight took place in the height of the Great Depression. Like most, Braddock had lost everything and in this fight, he was the quintessential Every Man. He represented the hope of every man, every family, that they too, could fight back and win.

Like Braddock, Seabiscuit was another figure that gave great hope to America during the Depression.

The little horse that was a nobody, who became a somebody. The race in Pimlico against favored War Admiral became the “match of the century.” Over 40,000 people came from all over the country to watch race. To give you a reference–the new Yankee Stadium holds a little over 52,000 people.  Over 40 million listened to the race on the radio. And this was in 1938! Not the technology and transportation friendly times of today. After the win, Seabiscuit was proclaimed Horse of the Year. The other story that inspired hope in all of the country was the tale of Seabiscuit and his down-on-his luck jockey, Red Pollard. The two overcame so much together–twice–to become legendary.

Muhammed Ali lighting the cauldron at the 1996 Olympics.

People were devastated to find that great legend Muhammed Ali had advanced Parkinson’s disease. People didn’t want to imagine him old and frail. They needed to see him as the fighter. And they got their wish in the Summer Olympics when Ali was the surprise finale of the carrying of the Olympic torch to light the cauldron. Ali stood powerful and tall as he once again ignited the hope of people all over the world.

The 1992 USA Dream Team, Magic Johnson, and being proud to be and American

And, a slight bit of humor. The moment is definitely symbolic and icon but well……

Ted Williams and Joe DiMaggio show that once upon a time, the Red Sox and the Yankees could co-exist peacefully. I hope one day……

Up next tomorrow IMAGINE

“Yes, We Can” Inspirational Sports Moments: HOPE is a post from: Stiletto Sports